Families of War Veterans

My father was a good child. He always got good grades, loved his mother and respected authority. During WWII my grandmother told me that she married my grandfather and they were very much in love but then he became very abusive. He would lock my grandmother and my father in the cold attic with mice and cobwebs until he decided to come home. Then after he got home he would take off his belt and beat my grandmother until he was tired.  Through Gods grace she was able to escape from his clutches and she did this mainly for my father. He was her shining star and she loved him very much. There was nothing that he wouldn’t do for her growing up, they were best friends.  In his late teens he was drafted into the military and worked as  a translator for the secret service. According to my mother who is from Thailand where they met, dad never saw “anything bad happen”, while he was over in Vietnam. He himself denies seeing anything negative happen during that time. But his mental state tells a totally different story. I remember him having fits of rage on a daily basis, calling my mother horrible names and then turning on us kids. I remember feeling scared when my parents would shout at each other and the fits of rage turned into things being thrown around the house (often past our heads). I have two younger brothers that are in their twenties and I am 35 and it has affected us all in very different and negative ways. I became suicidal and have been hospitalized on several different occasions and eventually was diagnosed with severe depression at the age of 20. My oldest brother has been diagnosed with bi-polar and some anti-psychotic disorder. My youngest brother is an alcoholic but the only responsible one in our whole family. After 32 years of abuse my mother couldn’t handle it anymore and finally had the strength to leave and divorce him. She came from a very poor family in Thailand and had almost no job experience. She now owns her own cleaning business and is doing alright for herself. War affects so many different people on many different levels. There is little or no help or support for military or x-military families and it’s just a shame. They risk their lives everyday for our country and come home mentally or physically wounded or in some cases both and do not get the help and respect that they deserve. I hope in the future that our country will not forget that mental illness is a very serious condition and help out military families.

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